Ironically, parenting is a shame and judgment minefield precisely because most of us are wading through uncertainty and self-doubt when it comes to raising our children.
Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think.
I love to take, process and share photos - it fills me up.
As a shame researcher, I know that the very best thing to do in the midst of a shame attack is totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out!
Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.
Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow - that's vulnerability.
Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.
We use work to numb out. We can't turn off our machines because we're afraid we're going to miss something.
One of the things I did when I discovered this huge importance of being vulnerable is very happily moved away from the shame research, because that's such a downer, and people hate that topic. It's not that vulnerability is the upside, but it's better than shame, I guess.